Typing a few words and deleting them in a single stroke, this is probably the seventh time I am doing it today. Does it ever happen to you that you know exactly what you want but fail to deliver?
Everything is beautiful, yet perplexed. I call it ‘The Monochrome Insight’.
Ever and again, you have very specific choices in life, yet, time flies and there you are, asking yourself, ‘What happened?’. Sometimes you see life clearly in black and white and then there are times you see things colorful and yet they are as confusing as they can be. Like looking through a kaleidoscope, everything is beautiful, sorted, yet perplexed.
These thoughts in my mind eventuate due to some recent and past events. Am I what I am today what I wanted to be 15 years ago? Absolutely not! I am a creative person and I saw myself as a renowned fashion designer, travelling to all the major fashion cities around the world, flaunting and selling my seasonal collections. But here I am, residing in a small area in Bangalore, writing this post as a fashion blogger, in a tiny corner of my room.
I have always been a romantic person and have a taste for all the fine things in life, which is why I had this feeling I would find love early and settle down with a well-heeled man and live somewhere in Saint Germain-des-Prés. I mean, I am a famous designer, who is romantic and has a rich husband, so where else would I be but Paris, right? But oh well, after a decade of failed relationships, I am finally engaged to this wonderful man who might not have all the riches, but right at this moment, 11.30 pm to be precise, is frantically looking for a place that would deliver crispy fish fries as demanded by his gagged up woman. So I guess I can probably say that the relationship bit probably did not go as downhill as my career. Haha.
I guess what I am trying to say is, things always do not work out the way you want them to be. I dreamed, I tried and I failed. I fizzled at what I could have been very good at, but I still look forward to a new day and new reasons to make up for what I lost and I found love when I almost lost hope. So hang in there and don’t just give up yet! Good things take time and come to those who wait. 🙂
Hope my journals make you feel a tad better than a day before. I will be back soon with another.
Concept, Styling, Makeup, Modelling, Edit: Smita Roy Majumder
Photography: Team SnT